Wednesday, September 21, 2011

What I learned about Romance from my Husband :)

Before I start, my friend Emily at Get Busy Writing is soooo close to 200 followers. If you don't all ready--pop over and follow her. She is well worth your time :) Now back to the show!

I’m not sure how my hubby will feel about me exploiting his cuteness for my own nefarious blogging purposes, but since we don’t run in the same blogging circles I doubt he will know—if you don’t tell him.

I’m working through a difficult part in my 2nd WIP where two of my characters must overcome impossible odds to be together—and when I say impossible I really mean IMPOSSIBLE. I’m not quite sure how I’m going to navigate them through the situation I’ve written them into.

As I’m working through the problem, I start to think about what I’ve learned about love and romance from my husband.

Love is challenging: My biggest pet peeve in stories is when people fall into sacrifice-my-life-for-you love without any kind of obstacle. I’ve learned from my husband that love is challenging, but the good news is—the more you overcome together the more you love each other. Overcoming challenges and love are in direct proportion to each other.

Smart is Sexy: We all know stories with big brawny guys that swoop in and skewer the bad guys with a sword. Now, I’m not saying that I don’t like that, but there is also something so amazing about an extremely smart guy who can out think and out maneuver everyone. If you were wondering—yes, my husband is VERY smart (smart alecky that is :)

Humor can cover a multitude of sins: My husband prides himself on the fact that he makes me laugh everyday and it’s true—he does! He uses humor to defuse my stress, get me to forgive him, make me happy, and get me to do what he wants :) I believe characters can use humor in the same ways. I would love to see a truly humorous leading man!

Sometimes talking is overrated: I know I’m not the only person who has had this experience: You are having an argument with your spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend and you think if you can just keep talking…and talking…and talking…you can solve the problem, but you just talk in circles and don’t resolve anything. I read a lot of books where they don’t talk and it causes problems or books where when they do talk everything is resolved. But I think it could bring on a fresh wave of despair to characters (and readers) if they talk and it just make things worse.

Sacrifice IS love: I feel like we live in a world where sacrifice is a dirty word. People who give up something for someone else are represented as weak and giving up their dreams. I hate that idea, because I believe sacrifice is REAL love. If you have ever had someone sacrifice for you—you KNOW without a doubt they love you. When I think of all the things my husband has sacrificed for me, I get choked up.

I’ve learned a lot of other things from my husband, but they are too personal to share :) What about you? What have you learned about romance from your significant other?


P.S. I hesitated adding this because I didn't want to make anyone who is follically-challenged feel bad, but it is too funny not to share. Girls LOVE hair :) My husband was once bumped from coach to first class because the girl working the counter loved his hair. Then on a different flight the male flight attendent kept bringing him free food from first class because he had a hair-crush on him. LOL!


E.R. King said...

This was such a sweet post. Everything you talked about made me think about my own sweetheart. You're very blessed to be married to an amazing man. And I am, too.
BTW, the hair thing is hilarious. Whatever gets the goods, right? Ha!

E.R. King said...

Oh, I didn't thank you for the shout out. THANK YOU! ; )

Small Town Shelly Brown said...

Love it Angie! Love the photos! Love the list!
It actually got me thinking about some ways to make the romance in my book more complex and more real. Thanks!

PS: My husband is ba-ald! He will never be bumped from coach to first class over a hair crush. But it's how God keeps some great men humble ;)

Brittany said...

She only needs 5 more now, so thanks for recommending her blog. Also, judging by the pictures,your husband does have great hair.

Dora Hiers said...

Your hubby sounds a lot like mine, especially in the humor department. Um, not the hair...

Anonymous said...

Great post! Already follow Emily.

For those follically challenged- I hear there is a correlation between extreme intelligence and baldness. All the scientists in Bristol Uni have lost or are loosing their hair. Alot of smart folk there. So there's a plus side even if they miss out on the free food. : )

Tracy Z. said...

I loved reading this post! Isn't it amazing how you can put things in perspective with a little effort?

Anyway, what I've learned from my husband over the years is that marriage is a delicate balance of self and couple. It's important what each of us feels and thinks, both as individuals and as a couple. I think too often, couples get wrapped up in one or the other.

Tara Tyler said...

you guys are so cute!
great advice, sometimes hard to follow, but love is worth the effort!

Jenny S. Morris said...

Love this!! I have learned SO much from my hubby too. I totally agree that smart, humorous guys with great hair or AWESOME!

Angie Cothran said...

Emily - How can any man turn his nose up at free food. No matter how it comes.

Shelly - Bald men are sexy too :)

Brittany - He does. The problem is that he lets it go to his head :) Sorry, I couldn't resist the pun.

Dora - I think the humor keeps me sane.

Freya - LOL!

Tracy - I think balance it the best. Too much and too little are both problems.

Tara - Thanks and AMEN!

Stacy Henrie said...

My husband is a pretty well-adjusted, easy-going guy, so I tend to write my male characters that way, which isn't good in fiction. I told him if he had more issues, it would be easier to write flawed heroes. :)

Abby said...

LOL. (I am already following Emily, and love her blog.)

Also I love your romance tips. Very fun. My hubby would be so jealous of your hubby's hair. Yep, he is follically challenged, but it's okay. Great tips. And I agree about talking in circles. ugh. Hate that.

Sara Bulla said...

I like your thoughts on talking/not talking. I need to think that one through as I work out some issues in my next book too! And the bit about sacrifice. So true! Great post, as always!

Claire Robyns said...

Love all your points. Humour is so important in relationships and life, and I think it's special to be with someone who has a great sense of humour (few men actually do)

Had a good laugh about your 'talking' point, but it's so true and that would make an excellent conflict in a book - let them talk their way into trouble, lol

Angie Cothran said...

Jenny - Husbands are a wealth of writing inspiration.

Stacie - LOL!

Abby - Talking circles are the worst!

Sara - Thanks :)

Claire - "Talk their way into trouble" I love it.

Anonymous said...

What an attractive couple you two are! Sounds like you have ample inspiration for your WIP :)
Kim Karras

Jessica Love said...

Hahaha! Those hair crush stories are so great! And I agree...what an attractive couple! :-D

Angie Cothran said...

Kim and Jessica - You too are so sweet :)

Brinda said...

I loved this post. I think my hubs would definitely have some hair envy going on. Did I just say that on the INTERNET? Yeah. I say things I shouldn't sometimes. You guys are extremely cute in the pics. I so agree about the humor thing. It's one of my fav things about my dh.

A.J. Mullarky said...

It's true, girls DO love hair!

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