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Friday, March 23, 2012

Friday Funnies—Paraprosdokian


My mother-in-law turned me onto this—Paraprosdokians. It is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected.

When I learned about it I thought, “How have I never heard of this? I’m a writer.” I had to share a few of my favorites with you. 
  • Where there’s a will, I want to be in it. 

  • If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong. 

  • If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?
  • Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. 

  • I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you. 

  • A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory. 

  • There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away. 

  • You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice. 

  • To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the  target. 

  • Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.  

  • If it weren’t for the gutter, my mind would be homeless. 

Hope you all have a great weekend!

-Angie

30 comments:

Amber said...

these were great! thanks for the giggle :)

Kyra Lennon said...

Hee hee, I really like these too. In the UK, there are fridge magnets that have these slogans on, they are great!

Cristina said...

these are awesome, thanks for the morning laughs!!! have a greta weekend!

Angela Brown said...

I was dying laughing with these. What a great way to start the day. This one is my fave. Though I'm not sure what this says about me lol!!!

"There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away."

Rachel Schieffelbein said...

I think my favorite is, "If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong." I may have to use that. :)

Hildred said...

I literally lol'd at the target one. Good stuff.

Kelley said...

I love these! I agree with Rachel. 'If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong." Definitely my fav ;)

Have a great weekend!

elizabeth seckman said...

I need that picture for my wall!

Emily R. King said...

Ha! These are great. Who doesn't like an unexpected phrase? Thanks for sharing, Angie. I'm going to read these to my hubby.

Cortney Pearson said...

LOL I love these!! So fun!! And I've never heard that word before either!

Jack said...

"If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong." <-- I'm going to use this sometime! This IS a great line!!!

BTW, tagged you on my blog today!

Meredith said...

Haha, these made me laugh so hard! Especially the cuddling and the parachute ones. :) Happy Friday!

Donna K. Weaver said...

I LOVE these. The surprise at the end usually make me laugh! Some that I love:

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

Tara Tyler said...

so hilaridoxical!

and my friend has napkins with that picture on it. it's my lazy housewife motto!

Johanna Garth said...

I can't believe I haven't heard of these before! So awesome. Thanks for a fun start to Friday!

Briane P said...

My favorite one was the parachute.

The nostalgia one was good; a while back, I came up with "Nostalgia was better in the old days," which I liked enough to put on a coffee mug:

http://www.zazzle.com/nostalgia_mug-168580806401090779

I haven't been to this blog in a while. I'll have to check in more often if you're going to make me spit Diet Coke out of my nose and onto my calendar when I read it. Which I probably ought not to do because now all my afternoon appointments are merely smudges and nobody wants to be a smudge. They resent it.

ilima said...

Haha. That just made my day. Thanks for sharing!

Jessie Humphries said...

Ha! Here's to having a fuzzy memory and a clear conscience! Cheers.

Ruth Josse said...

Haha! Funny! I didn't know there was an actual term for these. Of course there is.

Linda Jackson said...

Too funny! I'm printing these off to share with my kids this afternoon. :)

Brittany said...

Ha ha. I have this one on a magnet on my fridge and it always makes me laugh:
I child-proofed my house but they still keep getting in.

Nick Wilford said...

Great laugh! I like the one in the picture best. I tell my wife that my writing is more important, but she doesn't agree. But I can't agree with her because then we'd both be wrong.

Madeleine Maddocks said...

I love them! Never heard the term before now though. Great post

Laura Josephsen said...

I laughed a lot. Thanks for sharing these! :D :D :D

Aldrea Alien said...

*snicker* I've heard some of these before, never knew the name for it.
Paraprosdokian, huh. Interesting.

Jolene Perry said...

Those were SUPER fun.

Have you read the ones that they've had kids do? where they fill in the end? SO fun.

Melodie Wright said...

HA! I especially like the one about cuddling...cuz I think I've crossed it recently trying to hug my teenage son. He's always trying to get away. No idea why... :)

Leigh Covington said...

You always make my day! These are fabulous. Love stuff like this. Always gives me a laugh.

Jeremy Bates said...

Angie, these were great. I couldn't pick a fave because they were ALL good. I see that truth is in all of the examples.

Small Town Shelly Brown said...

So clever! I didn't know about these either. I feel kinda sheepish as well.

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