I need the combined power of all your brilliant minds. I must come up with a log line or elevator pitch. I have a hard time with these, because I never know what to focus on.
Everyone should know how their story is different from the rest. With mine I wanted to go with a “What if what you thought should be a happily ever after wasn’t? What if it was a nightmare?” I think that is my hook, but I don’t know for sure.
I have a few log lines, will you give me your thoughts, feedback, suggestions. Which one makes you want to read my book?
When seventeen-year-old Jocelyn’s family is murdered by her betrothed, Prince Zven, she accepts help from a handsome soldier and a group of colorful pirates to blackmail the prince for her freedom.
When Lady Jocelyn escapes certain death from the hands of her betrothed, she is forced to accept help from an unlikely source, the mysterious soldier Taggert, the man who her best friend has fallen in love with.
For seventeen-year-old Jocelyn, being betrothed to the charming Prince Zven should've been perfect—instead it's hell. When she learns he has murdered her family and plans to poison the king, she must find a way to stop him and secure her freedom.
Ensemble (too much info?):
Happily ever after turns into a nightmare when seventeen-year-old Jocelyn discovers her betrothed, the handsome Prince Zven, has murdered her family and plans to murder the king. She enlists the help of a handsome soldier, a drunken rogue, and a jilted pirate princess to stop the prince and gain her freedom.
I just don’t know anymore. My brain is kind of mush. HELP ME!